Hi, I celebrated my 28th birthday last week and am sharing 28 lessons I learned till my 28th birthday. I am not a life coach or guru or something, but I want to share what I have learned to date because people usually don’t talk about this stuff which is so important. So here you go, keep reading till the end:
Never take anything personally
Someone might say something, and we may take things personally, which may hurt us, remember, everything around us doesn’t have to be about us. Life changes when you stop taking anything personally. It’s not about you all the time; most of the time, it’s about them. You will eventually end up in peace when you stop taking anything personally.
Learning is a never-ending process
Learning never ends; no one is perfect, and there is always room for improvement. Life is about continuous learning and unlearning things. Your school knowledge is only limited to some extent, but actual life skills are what you need to learn. Learning that course anyway, learn that skill you always wanted to, take that dance class, take that swimming class you always wanted to. The next thing is ‘every individual is different, and we can learn anything from anyone around us.
Comparison kills our joy
At some point, we end up comparing ourselves to others; your friend has a better job than you, your friend with her loving life partner, but you being broke with no job or anything. Comparison will only kill your joy and happiness. You will become insecure and may even lack self-confidence when you compare, so stop comparing and start moving.
Your ego is your enemy
Sometimes we feel like we know everything or no one can replace us, but that’s all your ego speaking. Your ego is your enemy; always being ready to learn and unlearn is the habit you should develop. Some people have big ego problems because they think they know everything and no one can ever replace them.
Giving up is not the solution.
Life is a rollercoaster; there are ups and downs, but standing up for yourself no matter what your situation is what matters most. Sometimes our minds end up with negative thoughts like You cannot do it, you are not worth it, etc., but you should avoid negative voice and replace it with positive words like I am beautiful, I am happy, I can do whatever I think.
Slow progress is better than no progress.
Success doesn’t come overnight, but there are small wins; slow progress is better than no progress. You don’t have to be hard on yourself; trying means you are in your first phase of reaching your goals; some people do not even try. Remember, “Patience is the secret ingredient to success.” Embrace the journey of slow progress, as it leads to long-lasting change and meaningful accomplishments.
Your mind is most powerful- what you think you become
If you have read the book, “the power of the subconscious mind” by Joseph Murphy, you know how powerful our mind is, like we can achieve whatever we think or manifest. Even if it feels impossible, everything is possible if you believe in yourself. This book says, “Your subconscious mind does not argue with you. It accepts what your conscious mind decrees. If you say, ‘I can’t afford it,’ your subconscious mind works to make it true. So people always say only use positive words, for yourself; if you say I am not good, I can’t do it, your subconscious will believe it; our subconscious is like a small child; they are innocent and belief what you say.
Overusing social media can be toxic
I have gone through a phase where I compared myself with others on social media. I only felt hopeless and doubted myself because all I could see on social media were happy and filtered faces, the perfect travel photos. Why? Because people only share a good part of their life on social media, but the thing is, I was the person who took it negatively because I was going through some breakdowns, as time pass by I realized I couldn’t change what others share, but I can change what I think of. Remember, “Don’t compare your real life with others’ reel life.”
Saying NO is all ok
Being a Nepali Buhari (daughter-in-law), it is even more challenging to say “No” when you don’t even want to go somewhere or do anything you don’t want to do. Most of our parents always taught us to say yes even when we didn’t want to; growing up, we only saw people pleasing and agreeing with everything others said. But now I feel like creating boundaries is so important; everyone wants their own solitaire time, and that’s ok to say ‘no” when you don’t want to.
Family is everything
Our family is our supporter; ultimately, everything matters to our family, our closest ones close to our hearts, no matter what. Everything comes secondary when it comes to family. Your parent’s happiness is your happiness. “Other things may change us, but we start and end with family”.
Your happiness doesn’t belong to materialistic things
I was the same person who believed my happiness lies in external factors. I thought I would be happy if I got my dream job or house, but even after that, you are unsatisfied because we chase other higher factors. Your happiness doesn’t necessarily lie on an external factor.
Letting go of what never serves you
“One of the hardest life lessons is letting go; whether it is guilt, anger, love, loss, betrayal, you can’t move ahead unless you let go.” Letting go will bring you peace of mind. How can you fill the glass with clean water unless you throw the dirty water from the glass? Remember letting go isn’t about having the courage to release the past; it has the wisdom and strength to embrace the present.
Forgiveness is a powerful gift we give to ourselves
“By forgiving, you don’t forgive the person who did something wrong; you forgive yourself.” Letting go and forgiveness are quite similar; both create negativity in our minds when we don’t throw them out. “When you forgive, you heal; when you let go, you grow.”
Show Empathy and kindness to everyone
Be kind to everyone you meet because everyone is going through a battle you are unaware of. Yes, everyone has their problems. No one on earth is always happy; there are ups and down in everyone’s life.
Helping others will heal
“Sometimes healing comes after helping someone through the same trauma you went through. Help yourself by helping others.”
“Our prime purpose in life is to help others, and if you can’t help them, at least don’t hurt them.” – Dalai Lama
Accept changes & embrace opportunities
Change is inevitable; if you don’t change your direction, you will always be in the same position in your life, and you will not grow. To achieve our goals, we should accept changes and embrace opportunities. Dr Spencer Johnson’s Book “Who moved my cheese?” perfectly explains why we should accept a change in our life to grow.
Surround yourself with positive people
Surround yourself with people who lift you higher and talk about business and growth, not about people or events. “Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events and small minds discuss people.” Your surrounding plays an important role in your growth.
Live in the present
“Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That’s why it’s called the present.” – Unknown
Living in the present moment is a powerful reminder to experience and appreciate life’s beauty fully. Let go of worries about the past or anxieties about the future and focus on the here and now. Embrace the present as a precious opportunity to create lasting memories and find joy in the simplest of moments.
Mindfulness is the art of being fully present and aware of our thoughts, emotions, and surroundings without judgment. It helps us cultivate a deep sense of peace and inner calm amidst the chaos of daily life. Practising mindfulness can develop greater self-awareness, enhance our relationships, and find contentment in the present moment. The best mindfulness practice is meditation; 10 minutes of meditation daily will change your life.
Invest in building skills
Building skills is an investment in our personal growth and future success. Whether learning a new language, acquiring technical expertise, or honing our creative abilities, each skill we develop expands our horizons and opens up new opportunities. Continuous learning not only enriches our lives but also equips us with the tools to navigate the ever-changing world around us.
Practice self-reflection and learn from your mistakes
Self-reflection is the gateway to personal growth and self-improvement. We gain valuable insights into ourselves by examining our actions, thoughts, and behaviours. Embrace mistakes as opportunities for learning and growth, for they provide valuable lessons that shape our character and guide us towards making better choices in the future.
Embrace diversity and celebrate differences
“Strength lies in differences, not similarities.” – Stephen R. Covey.
Embracing diversity means recognizing and appreciating the unique qualities, perspectives, and experiences each individual brings. We foster a culture of inclusivity, acceptance, and understanding by celebrating differences. By embracing diversity, we enrich our lives and contribute to creating a more compassionate and harmonious world.
Seek meaningful connections
Deep, meaningful connections with others enrich our lives in profound ways. Cultivate relationships that are built on trust, understanding, and mutual support. Nurture connections that bring joy, and inspire growth.
Your habits shape your life
“In essence, if we want to direct our lives, we must take control of our consistent actions. It’s not what we do once in a while that shapes our lives, but what we do consistently.” – written in a book Atomic Habits by James Clear.
Our daily habits profoundly impact the outcomes and quality of our lives. By intentionally cultivating positive habits and eliminating destructive ones, we can shape our path to success and happiness. Recognize the power of small, consistent actions, for they have the potential to create significant and lasting change.
Gratitude transforms your perspective
Practising gratitude is a transformative act that shifts our focus from what is lacking to what we already have. It allows us to find contentment and appreciation in the present moment. Embrace gratitude as a daily practice, and watch how it transforms your perspective and brings more joy into your life.
Be you, love yourself and embrace yourself
“Accept yourself, love yourself, and keep moving forward. If you want to fly, you have to give up what weighs you down.” – Roy T. Bennett.
Embracing your authentic self is a powerful act of self-love and self-acceptance. Celebrate your uniqueness and let go of societal expectations or comparisons. Remember that true happiness and fulfilment come from embracing who you are and living in alignment with your values and passions.
Embrace the power of self-care
“Self-care is not selfish. You cannot serve from an empty vessel.” – Eleanor Brownn.
Taking care of yourself is not only essential but also an act of compassion towards others. Prioritize self-care, whether it’s setting boundaries, engaging in activities that bring you joy, or simply taking time to recharge. Remember, by nurturing your own well-being, you are better equipped to show up fully for yourself and for others.
Cultivate a growth mindset
“Your mind is a powerful thing. When you fill it with positive thoughts, your life will start to change.” – Unknown.
Developing a growth mindset is crucial for personal and professional growth. Embrace the belief that your abilities, intelligence, and talents can be developed through dedication, effort, and learning from experiences. Embrace challenges as opportunities for growth, view failures as stepping stones to success, and maintain a positive attitude towards self-improvement.
May these lessons serve as guiding lights, reminding us to live in the present, practice self-reflection, celebrate diversity, cultivate gratitude and love ourselves. Let’s navigate life’s ever-changing landscape with a curious heart, an open mind, and a deep appreciation for the lessons that continue to shape us daily.
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“HAVE A GOOD DAY.”